Why I am the Way I Am
by potterfan36041
Summary: Have you ever wondered why Professor Snape is so coldhearted? This is a oneshot on my idea of why he is like that. Rated PG just to be on the safe side. Feel free to review.


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, only the plot of the story.

I have seen many students come through Hogwarts over my years here, even some students who are the children of my peers. One student, in particular, upsets me the most. Harry Potter, is that student and I, Severus Snape, despise him just as much as his father before him. The majority of the Gryfinndor house despises me because of his accusations of unfair treatment, which happen to be true. No one, not even Dumbledore, can keep me from discriminating against him and most Gryfinndors' for that matter. No one has the bravery to try to get inside my brain, even myself at this point in life. All of this, began during my years here, in which I was an outcast from the rest of Hogwarts by James Potter, who happens to be Harry's dead father. No, my days here were not most pleasant, so why should I make it easy for these scoundrels, many of whom are not even pureblood. To truly make anyone understand me, we must all go back to the day I was saved by James Potter and indebted to him forever.

_Flashback to Hogwarts _

I never thought I would willingly bring my mind back to that horrid day, but now I have. This is not for my own sake, but for the sake of those who have to be around me. To be more specific, it is at Dumbledore's request that I go back to those horrid times in order for all of this school to not have my horrible wrath. On the day that everything went particularly bad for me, I happened to be in my sixth year. I was properly tricked into going to visit one Remus Lupin.

"Now, Severus, you know that we would not do this too you on purpose," Sirius said.

"Yes, we just simply want you to discover, like we have, what the Whomping Willow hides," Peter said.

"Why should I listen to you? All you have ever done to me, is try to trick me into endless traps," I said, thinking about it now, I was stupid to allow myself to continue on. Didn't I just say all they ever tried to do was trick me? As you can see, my mind was not quite right to continue on with this.

"Severus, we would not try to do that anymore. We honestly have changed and at this point we could be kicked out of Hogwarts after all of the trouble that we have caused. Now why would we want to cause anymore trouble around here?" Sirius asked. This Sirius is the same one who betrayed James Potter, just a matter of years after that. He claims that he did not betray the Potter's; it was Pettigrew. I personally could care less, but now he is again at large, with the help of the Harry, I'm absolutely sure. The liar that he is, I wouldn't be surprised if he convinced Harry that he was not the one that made him an orphan.

"Yes, Severus, we can't afford any more trouble here. We have become legendary troublemakers and there is no use anymore," Peter said.

"Why isn't James trying to help you with this?" I couldn't help but ask.

"He's off with Lily somewhere, as usual. He has become bloody obsessed with her, but that really doesn't have to deal with what we are talking to you about. Now, if you want to find out where Remus goes every so often, why don't you just go?" Sirius asked. He had me hooked, I now had to do this. My mind was no longer able to resist the temptation any longer.

"I'll go, tonight at midnight. What is my reward going to be, though?" I asked.

"Your reward, will be what you will find there," Peter said with a smile.

The rest of the day I thought about what I was going to do that night. This was going to be one of the greatest adventures I had ever gone on and to believe that some Gryfinndors were giving me this chance, it couldn't be more surreal. That was, until I got to the Whomping Willow that night. I suddenly became fearful of everything that was going on at the time. The fact that it was a full moon, which lit the ground extremely well, made me even more nervous. I, unlike that group of Gryfinndors, had never been caught on the grounds at this time of night and I wished to keep it that way. Upon entering the interior of the Whomping Willow, I did not know of the circumstances occurring in the castle.

"You did what?" James yelled. I only know all of this because of the kindness of James to tell me what had occurred minutes before he saved my life.

"We told him to go visit the Whomping Willow and see where it leads. Remus will take care of him and we won't have to worry about all of this anymore, James," Sirius said.

"Sirius, we can not let him lead himself to his own sure death. Now, I'm gonna try to stop him. Anyone else coming?" James asked.

"James, we led him into this. Do you think we are going to try to save him?" Peter asked.

"I guess not," James said walking out of the tower.

During this time period, I had begun my slow progression through, what seemed to be an old passage. The dust and otherwise, was more than obvious in this under kept corridor. I happened to hear footsteps behind me and wondered if they had gone to tell Dumbledore just so he would be able to catch me off school grounds at this very inconvenient time. However, these footsteps seemed quite frantic, in this seemingly endless corridor. I don't know if it was because of the quickness or because of the sound, I stopped myself from any further progression until the owner of the steps came forth. It only took a matter of seconds for James Potter to walk the length of the corridor to where I stood. He then began one of the oddest speeches I have ever heard.

"Severus, you must leave here. It is not safe for you or anyone for that matter. Thank goodness you didn't make it to the door, come on we best leave in case something hears us," James said trying to usher me out of the hallway.

"Why should I leave James? Nothing behind that door can hurt me," I said, although I was greatly mistaken.

"I do believe that a werewolf could hurt you, Severus, even if you don't believe it," James said, rather bluntly.

"A werewolf? But that would mean that Remus is a werewolf and if you know about it, why did they send me down here?" I asked.

"You don't want to know, so I suggest that we get out of here as quickly as possible. I'll explain everything later," James said.

"Explain it while we're leaving," I said. He went into a long story on how they found out about Remus being a werewolf and how that affected the friendship. Then he went to tell me about his friends plot to let Remus kill me and then there wouldn't be much left to worry about.

"They really shouldn't have done this and I know it. So, I'm going to ask you to stay away from them at all costs. I know that we are graduating this year, but there are no guarantees that they won't try this again," James said.

"You don't have to work very hard to convince me of that now," I said.

"Okay, well I'll see you around Severus," James said. That was the last time I talked to James or any Gryfinndor without some type of bias. Most people would after my experience with them.

I woke up today feeling in an even worse mood than ever before, because I was forced to relive the one time that I almost died. Now, I know Dumbledore wants a full report and he will get one, only thing is this was over twenty years ago and it's time for everything else to be put to rest. Now, hopefully you understand that this is why I am the way that I am, not many people are saved by there enemy, so my way of paying him back is by never being tricked into something that stupid again.

AN: I hope you liked this little idea. Please read and review!


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